Title: Forgiveness is a Two Edged Blade
Author: Perkyandproud
Pairing: Cirdan / Ulmo
Warnings: Sex!
Disclaimer:  World and characters belong to Tolkien.
Prompt:  Cirdan / Ulmo, anger, repentance and a hot bath.  NC-17

Cirdan stomped down the gangplank.  Just who did they think they were, asking that of his people?  Bunch of Vala.

His people, the Teleri, had been killed for their ships by the Noldor.  Those murderers had struck down man, woman and child, combatants or not.  Now he was being asked, no told he had to ferry those...people back to Valinor when they asked!

Intellectually he had known that Ulmo had a soft spot for some of them, Turgon and the Gondolians specifically.  But Ulmo favored his people, the sea-faring Teleri, too.  So why, by Eru, was he telling them to do this?

Cirdan scowled at no one in particular, but everyone gave him space.  His people were also not happy, but they knew he as their leader was even more so.

It was still early in the day; Cirdan could not just brood in his rooms by the fireplace.  First there was business to take care of.  Calling for hot drinks and some lunch, he summoned his ships' captains and his land factors for their reports.

Nearly three hours and another round of fortifying drinks later he had dealt with getting needed repairs and maintenance done, both on land and on the ships.  Now to determine how soon they would be sailing again.  “Ëaryalmo, how many are currently in the Waiting Rooms?”

Ëaryalmo, the factor responsible for the housing and feeding of those prepared to sail, paused before speaking, gripping his papers tightly in his hands.  “There are currently seven Sindar, three Sylvans, one Vanya, four Teleri...and almost one hundred and fifty Noldor.”

Even despite the press of people and the cheery fire, the temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees.

“It's true then,” Súrimel said.  “We are to ferry those who murdered our relatives back to Valinor?”

There was an angry rumble, but Cirdan raised his hand for silence.  “It is the Valar's will and we are, and have always been, their obedient subjects.  Ëaryalmo, I would like to speak to whomever is their leader.”


Cirdan sank into the pool of hot water that served as his bath.  As a permanent member of the community at the Havens, he had a private one.  Something he was immensely grateful for, he thought, scrubbing his face with his hands.

Those elves...their eyes were so haunted.

Perhaps some would take comfort in the fact that their enemies suffered under the burden of guilt for what they'd done, but Cirdan had awoken at Cuiviénen on the shore of the Sea of Helcar and these were the descendants of his brothers and sisters.  Even now his heart hurt for the pain they felt.

**This is why you were asked to bring them back home to us, my Ship-Wright.** Ulmo's voice said, seeming to come from all around him.  **It is time for all sides to start healing.**

Cirdan frowned at that.  “My people...”

**Need to forgive their brothers.  Your relatives are in the Halls of Mandos and will be released to you in the fullness of time, as Eru's Song dictates.**

“How will they feel then, seeing us hand in hand with those who murdered them?” Cirdan asked, his voice rising.

The water softly moved around him, soothing him.  **When they are released to walk among you, they will also have forgiven their transgressors.**

Cirdan relaxed despite himself.  Being a not unintelligent elf, he made a quick connection.  “So, by continuing to hold a grudge, my people and I are actually delaying our relatives' release?  Why didn't you tell us this before?”  He tensed up again as he asked.

Again the water soothed him.  **Until you felt pity in your heart you were not ready to hear it.  Forgiveness and healing cannot be forced.  You must find it yourselves.**

The elf slumped back against the side of the pool, enjoying the feel of the water as he wrapped his mind around what Ulmo had said.  “Not everyone is ready to forgive them, but if they could see their eyes...the Noldor are even more haunted by what they and their kin did than we are.”  He looked at his fingers combing through the water.  “I will tell Ëaryalmo to integrate them into our society here rather than keeping them sequestered away.  We will need to keep a close eye out for their safety, but...I think my people are ready for this step.”

A loud purr in his head startled him.  He refocused on his hand to see that rather than water, they were now petting long silky hair.  “L-lord Ulmo?” he said.  “I thought...you couldn't be here, on Arda...”

**That feels so good.** Ulmo said, the purr unmistakable in his voice.  **I'm not actually there, I'm simply...using my power over water to create a likeness of myself.  I have missed you a great deal, my Ship-Wright.**

The water swirled around Cirdan and Ulmo, or a solid watery version of him, rose out of the pool.  **With Melkor gone and your heart back in harmony we can be together again,** Ulmo said.

Cirdan moaned as watery fingers were already exploring his body, caressing his penis and opening him up.  Having the Vala who has command over the oceans as your lover was truly an experience.  He had overheard from time to time elves speak about how good it felt to make love in the water, but honestly, they had no idea.  “I have missed you, so much,” he said, his fingers tangling in that silky hair and tugging at it.

Warm, solid lips met his.  **I know,** Ulmo said, **I can feel it when you are in this pool, releasing your...tensions.**  The Vala deepened the kiss.

He supposed he should feel as though he were drowning; water surrounded him completely.  But Cirdan felt safer in Ulmo's arms than he did on dry land.

The wet heat around his penis changed subtly, less like fingers and more mouth-like suddenly.  Cirdan gasped and moaned as he was licked and sucked, as waterfingers  rolled his balls and pressed further into his entrance.  “Oh!  S-so good...” he panted.

**My Ship-Wright,** Ulmo purred around him.  **Your ships sail across the ocean's surface, teasing me.  Shall I plumb your depths and show you the true wonders of the sea?**

“Yes!”  Cirdan was aware that Ulmo was attempting to seduce him, but he was, body and fea, Ulmo's already and it had been such a very long time.  “Take me, my love,” he begged.

Ulmo chuckled, a dark, rich sound.  **Very well, my dear one.**

Cirdan gasped in ecstasy as he felt himself opened up further.  It felt so much like the real thing that he gave himself over to the illusion Ulmo was affecting.  “Love...you,” he managed to say, the pleasure threatening to steal his words from him.

**As I love you, my Ship-Wright,** Ulmo responded.  The Vala kissed his lover again, deeply, then started moving.

It started as a slow roll, as a calm and tranquil sea, but rapidly changed becoming like the storm-ridden ocean with short, choppy waves that broke on him, only to return, fast and hard.  It had been too long, literally an Age, Cirdan was surprised he lasted as long as he did.

The tension built up in him.  It was all he could do to keep his grip in Ulmo's hair as his lover did all in his power, which was a great deal, to bring him to orgasm.

Finally it grew too much to bear and he cried out and came, clutching tight at the form of his lover.  “Ulmo!”

The feel of his lover coming inside of him prolonged his orgasm, a favorite trick of Ulmo's, he remembered fondly as he slumped bonelessly in the water against the side of the pool.

**I will visit again, soon,** Ulmo's voice promised.  The water was smooth and calm again, no sign that the Vala had ever been there.  But Cirdan's body knew. 

“Please, my love,” Cirdan said.  “I will bathe daily in hope.”

**Hope should never be in vain,** Ulmo said.  The water briefly hugged Cirdan and lifted out of the pool to lay safely and dry on the side.  **Until then, my love.**