Glorfindel had watched him for a long time now. So young, so fierce… so ready to die for his people… that was the Marchwarden of the Golden Wood. Oh, how well Glorfindel recognized the gaze he saw in those steel-grey eyes… cold and emotionless, but he could also sense weariness and hopelessness behind the solid façade. Hadn’t he worn that same gaze in his own eyes too? So many years ago, and still it felt like yesterday.
It had been complete madness to think that they had any chance against Morgoth’s foul creatures. And still they had fought hard, refusing to retreat. One by one they had fallen to their deaths, where Námo could finally grant them peace.
Glorfindel couldn’t take his eyes from the young marchwarden. Haldir O Lórien was too young to die. Tomorrow would reveal their destinies, but Glorfindel was determined to see a day after tomorrow. A day when they all would be free again.
“And I want you to be beside me, when the dawn of the new day comes, Haldir O Lórien,” Glorfindel thought to himself. He had made his mind; he wouldn’t let Haldir fall under the shadow.
* * * *
Haldir sensed someone’s gaze following his every move, but he didn’t want to know who was watching him. He didn’t care if some fool distracted himself from the battle by staring at him, when he should be focusing on the enemy. The evening was darkening and the battle had ceased, but Haldir couldn’t let his guard down even for one moment. So many of his fellows had already fallen; many of them because of their own carelessness. He knew full well that tomorrow would very likely to be his last day on Arda, but he had accepted his fate. He was determined to take with him as many enemies as he possibly could.
His darkened thoughts suddenly scattered, when he felt a slight touch on his shoulder. He didn’t need to turn to know who had come to him.
“What you want from me, Lord Glorfindel? I would rather be alone,” Haldir said quietly, feeling a growing irritation within him. What right had the Elda to disturb his peace?
“Believe me, I know your thoughts better than you think, young Haldir. It is not so long ago that I myself thought in the same way. But I was wrong.”
“Pray tell me – how in Arda could you know what I feel right now?” Haldir asked angrily. He turned around, expecting to find an arrogant and condescending gaze in Glorfindel’s eyes.
He was completely wrong. He looked into Glorfindel’s sapphire orbs and found himself drowning in them. He shuddered with a sudden knowledge:
“He knows! By the Valar, he really knows how I feel.”
“You are right, young Haldir. I know how you feel at the moment.”
“But how… how is this possible? I thought…” Haldir stuttered, looking away. He didn’t know where this odd conversation was leading.
Glorfindel didn’t answer but cupped Haldir’s face, silently demanding that he meet his gaze again.
“I know, because once I was just like you; a mere soldier against an invincible enemy. I made the same decision as you; to take as many with me as I possibly could. And believe me, I killed a mighty enemy, just before my death. But that didn’t ease the pain I felt inside of me. Nothing can, if your desire is to die. I would prefer you to want to live, Haldir O Lórien.
“And what could ease my pain then, oh mighty Glorfindel? Tell me, if you are really so wise,” Haldir spat, trying to hide his confusion behind sarcasm.
Glorfindel smiled gently, and held Haldir’s chin in his grip for a long time before he answered.
“There is no need to be angry, Haldir. Could you just try to be silent for a change… maybe you would find that listening is not such a bad option,” Glorfindel whispered, pulling Haldir closer. The young Marchwarden tried to resist, but finally collapsed against Glorfindel.
When their lips finally met, Haldir couldn’t hide his trembling. The kiss wasn’t at all demanding but sensual and seductive, and it made him ache with need. A lover’s touch was something he had forgotten, so long had he known only the war.
“Why are you doing this?” Haldir gasped, when he had regained his breath.
“I told you, Haldir. I want you to live to see the new dawn with me. It would be a terrible waste for such beauty as yours to be lost to the Halls of Mandos. Would you come with me, maethoren vain (my beautiful warrior)? Would you ease my heart at this last moment?”
Haldir could only stare at Glorfindel, for he was stunned completely wordless. He had never been pursued in this way; it had always been he who pursued others. But still, he found no strength to reject the Elda. No one had ever affected him in this way.
Glorfindel watched silently, when mixed emotions crossed Haldir’s face. The Marchwarden was warming up to him, but still Glorfindel couldn’t be sure about his decision. Glorfindel waited, for he anticipated that any pressure would only cause Haldir to withdraw.
“I admit that your offer is tempting, but I am not sure if I can ease anybody’s heart, when my own is so heavy,” Haldir finally whispered.
“You don’t need to do or say anything. Just come with me, saes.”
“Why me? Why did you ask me, when you could have had anyone?”
“Because you are Haldir O Lorien.”
* * * *
Haldir couldn’t tell later, what madness made him obey Glorfindel’s wishes. He forgot the danger; he forgot even his own death that was within sight. He didn’t see the dark and barren view, nor did he feel the hardness of the cliff. He only felt his lover’s strong body above him, skin surprisingly soft and warm against his own. Eager hands and hot lips explored his body, until he was ready to explode.
“Saes, Glorfindel…” The desperate plea that escaped from his lips shocked him, but Haldir couldn’t help himself. He had never felt such desperate need as now raged in his veins. He needed to feel his lover within him.
“Shh, nín bain (my beauty). Soon you will have me,” Glorfindel assured him, his voice hoarse with need. Gently, he beckoned Haldir to settle at his side so that he had better access to his most private part.
Haldir shivered, as he felt Glorfindel’s tentative caresses on his buttocks. He wanted the Elda, wanted desperately, but still he couldn’t prevent the slight wave of fear inside him. He wasn’t untouched, but he had never found much pleasure from yielding. His thoughts shattered completely, when Glorfindel wrapped his hand around his aching member, stroking him teasingly.
“Glor… oh…” Haldir breathed and then cried brokenly, as he finally realized what Glorfindel had in mind. He was trapped between probing fingers and the hand that stroked him towards his release. Slowly and carefully Glorfindel prepared him, keeping him on the edge for a long time. Haldir almost sobbed with relief, when his completion was finally allowed. He still shuddered in the aftermath of his release, when Glorfindel turned him on his back.
“What… how…” Haldir gasped, when he saw Glorfindel hovering above him. He was confused, because in those rare moments he had allowed a lover to take him, he had always been on his hands and knees.
“I want to see your face, Haldir, when I make you mine.”
Haldir didn’t resist anymore. His breath caught in his throat when he finally felt Glorfindel pushing in. Despite Haldir’s fears, Glorfindel slid into his quivering passage without difficulties. It was as if they two were meant to be one from the beginning. Haldir moaned, as he bucked back against Glorfindel and soon all control was lost. They moved together with a wild abandon, their cries echoing through the night air. No one had ever taken Haldir in this way, with passion that shook him to his very core. And he yielded to his lover like never before, until he felt he was drowning into a white-hot haze of completion.
When Haldir finally stirred, he found himself resting tightly in Glorfindel’s arms. He opened his eyes and stared into his lover’s azure eyes.
“You are strong and beautiful, Haldir. It would be a terrible waste for such beauty as you to be lost to the Halls Of Mandos. Would you fight beside me, maethoren vain (my beautiful warrior)? Would you greet the new day by my side?”
Haldir didn’t hesitate before he answered: “I will fight beside you, Glorfindel, and I will greet the new day beside you. You have given me hope.”
* * * *
The battle was over, but the price of the victory was terrible. The High-King was dead, and they had lost many others. All were sorely missed. Somewhere in the battle Glorfindel had lost contact with his lover, and now he was searching for him. Finally he saw familiar eyes and a flash of silvery locks that were now covered with dust and orc’s blood.
“So, finally you found me, Glorfindel O Gondolin,” Haldir said wearily. He didn’t know what to think about this one-night-lover. Glorfindel had really eased his last night before the battle, but was that all the Elda wanted from him? Mere thought about separation caused Haldir’s heart to ache, and with a shock he realized that he definitely wanted more. But the fear that Glorfindel didn’t feel the same way made Haldir careful.
“I have come to redeem your promise. Would you come with me, Haldir O Lórien to greet the new day with me?” Glorfindel asked, extending his hand.
Haldir hesitated for a moment, but at last took the offered hand. Together they walked to the ruins of the Black Gate. They looked at the evil land that was covered with shadows and fears. They waited silently, as Anar started to rise over the horizon.
When the whole land was finally bathed in bright sunlight, Glorfindel broke the silence.
“I am Glorfindel O Imladris, and I look at the new dawn. Are you still with me, Haldir O Lórien? Would you ease my days, even when the Shadow is gone?” The Elda asked, smiling..
“I am Haldir O Lorien, and I am with you, Glorfindel O Imladris. I will ease your days till the end of Arda,” Haldir answered. He smiled at his lover and for the first time in ages it was a smile that reached his eyes.